This is an article that I wrote for our company newspaper. This is the unedited version (kind of like the director's cut). I had to adjust it for our audience by cutting out the section on 1 Corinthians -- which made me a little sick. Apparently, our readership would not have liked Paul's teachings on abstinence. You can judge for yourself:
There is a battle today over the family. Not only are divorce rates sky-high both in and outside of the church, but also parents struggle with children who are out of control. Every week, television programs such as The Supernanny showcase families who cannot get deal with their unruly children. This is rampant in the church as well. It seems that some of the godliest workers for the kingdom have the worst kids. Why is this?
The main problem may be that children are starved for attention. Many times, parents are far too busy to stop and give their children the quality time that they need. In the church the misconception that causes this is “church work always equals God’s work.” While serving in a church as a minister or a member are important, when a Christian has a family, God has called that parent to take care of their family first.
The Apostle Paul writes a lot concerning this matter. In 1 Corinthians 7 suggests that if a Christian wants to serve the Church whole-heartedly he or she should consider not getting married. His reasoning is “An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs . . . But a married man is concerned with the things of the world” (vs. 32-33, NIV). He does not say it is wrong to get married and have a family; on the contrary, he states it as a fact that they have to be concerned with their families. In 1 Timothy he presents this as the way things should be. Deacons and overseers are to control their families – their children are to be well behaved. Paul is so passionate about parental duties that he tells Timothy, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (5:8, NIV). This provision is more than just shelter, clothing, and food; it is the security of a loving home.
So parents, next time you are asked to serve on five committees at church, or to spearhead a new ministry, see if your children can afford to be without you. When you feel overwhelmed by church work don’t forget to take the time to tell your children how much they mean to you both with words and with your time. Sometimes God’s work is family work.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Reflections on Attachment
How attached am I to this world? This is a question that I think of quite often. Do I have too many things? Am I too concerned about things that don't matter.
Last weekend, Rachel and I moved. It seems that whenever I move I think about this. I think it is because when you look at everything that you own all in one room, or in the back of a truck, and then you proceed to carry it all somewhere, you really start to see that you have a lot of junk. These are the times that I am tempted just to get rid of it all -- well, at least the things we don't use.
Then as a person moves, there's the slight worry in the back of his or her mind about the status of the stuff -- What if something breaks or gets ruined? We had this happen, when we were putting sheets on the bed, there was a little smudge and a fabric pull on our matress. Thankfully, we handled it well. But what if it were my guitar? Or my books? How would I handle it if something happened to the things that I really care about? I hope that it would be ok.
Then I think about the fact that I am now a husband and a soon-to-be father (its coming very fast too). I see what Paul meant in 1 Corinthians 6 when he suggests staying single. His reasoning is that you are more concerned with the things of the world if you have a family, and in a way, you kind of have to be.
Friday, for instance, there was a huge wreck while I was on my way home. This happens a lot because I commute 30 miles on the interstate through Nashville. But this wreck was about 2 miles from home. I was in an area that I knew how to navigate around anything, but had passed all alternate routes before the traffic situation came to light.
So I was stuck. Sitting in my car, three minutes from where I wanted to be, and I started to worry. As ambulances and tow trucks passed me going to an accident that I could not see, I started to worry about whether or not Rachel was at home or not. I know it seems irrational, but she was running errands earlier that day. I tried to call to tell her I'd be late, and there was no answer. This brought more worry. I'm not usually a worrier, so these type of feelings are not only new, but strange to me. I thought about if Rachel was in the wreck that the baby would be in a lot of danger. And that would put Rachel in a lot of danger too.
I think that I had my first bout of fatherly instinct. This will come in handy, since we're having a girl. But I will say that now, there are two things in this world that I have an extreme attachment. I think that I would handle watching my guitar being thrown into a woodchipper, as long as I know that those two girls are safe.
This poses a dilemma in my mind. Something that I ponder often. I do believe that my primary responsibility is my family. I believe that it is wrapped up in my responsibility to God (see 1 Tim. 5:8). But what about Jesus' call to forsake all. He says that if I don't love him more than I do my mother, father, even daughter or son, I am not worthy of Him.
The conclusion that I have come to is that I think that it is all about balance and perspective. Of course, I am supposed to love my wife and my children; God gave them to me for a reason. But I love Him first. In working for them, I am being responsible with what God has given me.
Last weekend, Rachel and I moved. It seems that whenever I move I think about this. I think it is because when you look at everything that you own all in one room, or in the back of a truck, and then you proceed to carry it all somewhere, you really start to see that you have a lot of junk. These are the times that I am tempted just to get rid of it all -- well, at least the things we don't use.
Then as a person moves, there's the slight worry in the back of his or her mind about the status of the stuff -- What if something breaks or gets ruined? We had this happen, when we were putting sheets on the bed, there was a little smudge and a fabric pull on our matress. Thankfully, we handled it well. But what if it were my guitar? Or my books? How would I handle it if something happened to the things that I really care about? I hope that it would be ok.
Then I think about the fact that I am now a husband and a soon-to-be father (its coming very fast too). I see what Paul meant in 1 Corinthians 6 when he suggests staying single. His reasoning is that you are more concerned with the things of the world if you have a family, and in a way, you kind of have to be.
Friday, for instance, there was a huge wreck while I was on my way home. This happens a lot because I commute 30 miles on the interstate through Nashville. But this wreck was about 2 miles from home. I was in an area that I knew how to navigate around anything, but had passed all alternate routes before the traffic situation came to light.
So I was stuck. Sitting in my car, three minutes from where I wanted to be, and I started to worry. As ambulances and tow trucks passed me going to an accident that I could not see, I started to worry about whether or not Rachel was at home or not. I know it seems irrational, but she was running errands earlier that day. I tried to call to tell her I'd be late, and there was no answer. This brought more worry. I'm not usually a worrier, so these type of feelings are not only new, but strange to me. I thought about if Rachel was in the wreck that the baby would be in a lot of danger. And that would put Rachel in a lot of danger too.
I think that I had my first bout of fatherly instinct. This will come in handy, since we're having a girl. But I will say that now, there are two things in this world that I have an extreme attachment. I think that I would handle watching my guitar being thrown into a woodchipper, as long as I know that those two girls are safe.
This poses a dilemma in my mind. Something that I ponder often. I do believe that my primary responsibility is my family. I believe that it is wrapped up in my responsibility to God (see 1 Tim. 5:8). But what about Jesus' call to forsake all. He says that if I don't love him more than I do my mother, father, even daughter or son, I am not worthy of Him.
The conclusion that I have come to is that I think that it is all about balance and perspective. Of course, I am supposed to love my wife and my children; God gave them to me for a reason. But I love Him first. In working for them, I am being responsible with what God has given me.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
If Jesus Were Around Today
I've been thinking a lot lately about something. I've been wondering what it would be like if Jesus were around today. How would I react to Him? Would I accept Him? This is a scenario that I used to imagine when I was younger. I would read about how dense the Disciples were and I would swear that if Jesus were around today I would get it. I would imagine how much I would enjoy hearing His teachings first-hand, and to be there to be personally mentored by Him.
I think that if he were around today, many people would find Him very irritating. I want to say even in the Church, but I would have to say especially in the Church. If I'm honest I would have to admit that I may feel the same way at times. Jesus was very forward. He didn't tiptoe around difficult topics, but addressed them head on. He told people what they needed to hear instead of what they wanted to hear.
If you look also, he spoke out the most against the religious people. If He were to address the Church today, what would he say? He told those who thought they had it figured out that they were absolutely clueless. He told them that what they thought mattered was pointless, and that they weren't as committed to God as they were their own pride. How would I accept this rebuke? I use it to examine myself, but what if there were a person telling me these things? Would I get defensive? Would I try to justify my actions and thoughts?
Jesus also promoted doing the hard things. He told people to give up everything in order to follow Him. He said to forget about the worries of the world, leave any hindrance including family, and suffer for Him. Would I be willing to give every thing up on earth if He were standing in front of me looking me in the eye, or would I turn away disappointed like the rich young ruler?
So many more questions come to mind such as how we would react to what he would say about our worship? What would he say about our relationships? The strange thing is, even though he isn't here right now, telling us these things, he left us enough when he left the earth to figure these things out. Also he gave us a Spirit that does the same thing. I do feel the rebuke that I should do something differently even if Jesus isn't standing right next to me examining my motives.
This is another reason that I fear that I would reject Him if he were on earth today: He is here, in the Spirit, and I reject Him constantly. He may demand something of me, and I make excuses. How many church services do I attend where I am not whole-heartedly worshiping God? How many times have I reacted badly to disappointment? Do I have trouble forgiving others? Because of the Spirit, I can understand His teachings more than the Disciples did, but I still reject Him through acting selfishly.
Come to think of it, I'm afraid that I would be one of those in the crowd that came to Jesus for food, miracles, blessings, and some good teaching, but as soon as something was demanded that was a little bit to difficult I would go home.
This is a sad state of affairs. I have devoted my life to following Jesus as the Christ, and when I think about it, I don't know that I would have even like Him when he was here. I don't think I would have responded too well. But what's worse, is that I know that there are times now that I don't respond to Him well at all.
I think that if he were around today, many people would find Him very irritating. I want to say even in the Church, but I would have to say especially in the Church. If I'm honest I would have to admit that I may feel the same way at times. Jesus was very forward. He didn't tiptoe around difficult topics, but addressed them head on. He told people what they needed to hear instead of what they wanted to hear.
If you look also, he spoke out the most against the religious people. If He were to address the Church today, what would he say? He told those who thought they had it figured out that they were absolutely clueless. He told them that what they thought mattered was pointless, and that they weren't as committed to God as they were their own pride. How would I accept this rebuke? I use it to examine myself, but what if there were a person telling me these things? Would I get defensive? Would I try to justify my actions and thoughts?
Jesus also promoted doing the hard things. He told people to give up everything in order to follow Him. He said to forget about the worries of the world, leave any hindrance including family, and suffer for Him. Would I be willing to give every thing up on earth if He were standing in front of me looking me in the eye, or would I turn away disappointed like the rich young ruler?
So many more questions come to mind such as how we would react to what he would say about our worship? What would he say about our relationships? The strange thing is, even though he isn't here right now, telling us these things, he left us enough when he left the earth to figure these things out. Also he gave us a Spirit that does the same thing. I do feel the rebuke that I should do something differently even if Jesus isn't standing right next to me examining my motives.
This is another reason that I fear that I would reject Him if he were on earth today: He is here, in the Spirit, and I reject Him constantly. He may demand something of me, and I make excuses. How many church services do I attend where I am not whole-heartedly worshiping God? How many times have I reacted badly to disappointment? Do I have trouble forgiving others? Because of the Spirit, I can understand His teachings more than the Disciples did, but I still reject Him through acting selfishly.
Come to think of it, I'm afraid that I would be one of those in the crowd that came to Jesus for food, miracles, blessings, and some good teaching, but as soon as something was demanded that was a little bit to difficult I would go home.
This is a sad state of affairs. I have devoted my life to following Jesus as the Christ, and when I think about it, I don't know that I would have even like Him when he was here. I don't think I would have responded too well. But what's worse, is that I know that there are times now that I don't respond to Him well at all.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
A Strange Case . . .
I recently read a classic. Everyone knows the story, but I decided to read it for myself.
It's sad that The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is so famous. Not because it's not good, its really good, but because Stevenson writes it as a mystery, and the popularization of the story has softened the mystery. Utterson (the real main character) is trying to figure out the relationship between Jekyll and Hyde, but the modern reader knows the truth.
Despite this, it is still very good storytelling. Even though I knew what to expect, it kept me interested the whole time.
Also, as many know, the story is about the duality of human nature. Jekyll, who is known as a good man, tries to get rid of the evil part of his personality; instead he awakens the sinister part of himself. As I read it, however, I started thinking about another aspect of the story: the nature of addiction.
This has been on my mind a lot lately thinking about this. I have quite a few friends that struggle with addiction, and really, I think in some ways, everyone has some sort of addiction. I would suggest reading this timeless story. Its only 130 pages, and if you can't find a copy, its on Google Books for free (http://books.google.com/books?id=s4A1AAAAMAAJ&printsec=frontcover)
Anyway, the last chapter reveals Jekyll's struggle with Hyde. He first creates Hyde with innocent intentions. It's actually noble intentions, but he soon finds that his experiment--with the intention to become the fully good part of himself--has the adverse affect. The problem is that he finds that he Jekyll enjoys being Hyde. He enjoys the freedom to be evil, to do the things that Hyde does.
After Hyde gets out of control Jekyll decides to say goodbye to his alter-ego, but after a few weeks, a moment of weakness leads him back to his dark friend. Then, after a seemingly full reform, Jekyll misses the evil so much that reminiscing about the badness, leads to an unwilling transformation to Hyde.
When it begins Hyde is an escape for Jekyll. Jekyll can escape into Hyde and do things that the Victorian-philanthropic Jekyll wouldn't dream of doing. But he could do it under the disguise of Hyde. However, at the end, Jekyll becomes a sanctuary for Hyde. Hyde becomes the dominant personality. He's in charge, but he's wanted by the police, so for his survival, he allows Jekyll to take over.
In the end, they both seek to end it all through the only way they can be rid of each other: death. They both long for the release, but fear finality of it.
Addiction is much like this. It begins either enticingly or sometimes (albeit rarely) even innocently. But whatever it is that grabs a hold of the subject is nice. The soon-to-be addict returns because it's good. Even if it's wrong, the outcome feels nice. But things escalate. The monster takes over. Hyde begins of small stature and quite young, because as Jekyll concludes, he hasn't cultivated his evil side, so it is small and young, but as he lets his beast out and lets it feed, Hyde grows. Not only does he symbolically gain stature, he also gains control over Jekyll.
With addiction, the object that you feel that you control begins to control you. It grows and grows until it consumes you. You become more of the addiction than you are yourself. You would do anything to get your fix. You are defined by the trying to feed it. The person who you were before, is merely a refuge for you to get by until you can unleash the animal.
I've had friends who were recovering addicts tell me of some of the most horrendous things that they did. Things that I couldn't believe that this was the same person. But addiction becomes a person and defines their actions.
It's sad that The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is so famous. Not because it's not good, its really good, but because Stevenson writes it as a mystery, and the popularization of the story has softened the mystery. Utterson (the real main character) is trying to figure out the relationship between Jekyll and Hyde, but the modern reader knows the truth.
Despite this, it is still very good storytelling. Even though I knew what to expect, it kept me interested the whole time.
Also, as many know, the story is about the duality of human nature. Jekyll, who is known as a good man, tries to get rid of the evil part of his personality; instead he awakens the sinister part of himself. As I read it, however, I started thinking about another aspect of the story: the nature of addiction.
This has been on my mind a lot lately thinking about this. I have quite a few friends that struggle with addiction, and really, I think in some ways, everyone has some sort of addiction. I would suggest reading this timeless story. Its only 130 pages, and if you can't find a copy, its on Google Books for free (http://books.google.com/books?id=s4A1AAAAMAAJ&printsec=frontcover)
Anyway, the last chapter reveals Jekyll's struggle with Hyde. He first creates Hyde with innocent intentions. It's actually noble intentions, but he soon finds that his experiment--with the intention to become the fully good part of himself--has the adverse affect. The problem is that he finds that he Jekyll enjoys being Hyde. He enjoys the freedom to be evil, to do the things that Hyde does.
After Hyde gets out of control Jekyll decides to say goodbye to his alter-ego, but after a few weeks, a moment of weakness leads him back to his dark friend. Then, after a seemingly full reform, Jekyll misses the evil so much that reminiscing about the badness, leads to an unwilling transformation to Hyde.
When it begins Hyde is an escape for Jekyll. Jekyll can escape into Hyde and do things that the Victorian-philanthropic Jekyll wouldn't dream of doing. But he could do it under the disguise of Hyde. However, at the end, Jekyll becomes a sanctuary for Hyde. Hyde becomes the dominant personality. He's in charge, but he's wanted by the police, so for his survival, he allows Jekyll to take over.
In the end, they both seek to end it all through the only way they can be rid of each other: death. They both long for the release, but fear finality of it.
Addiction is much like this. It begins either enticingly or sometimes (albeit rarely) even innocently. But whatever it is that grabs a hold of the subject is nice. The soon-to-be addict returns because it's good. Even if it's wrong, the outcome feels nice. But things escalate. The monster takes over. Hyde begins of small stature and quite young, because as Jekyll concludes, he hasn't cultivated his evil side, so it is small and young, but as he lets his beast out and lets it feed, Hyde grows. Not only does he symbolically gain stature, he also gains control over Jekyll.
With addiction, the object that you feel that you control begins to control you. It grows and grows until it consumes you. You become more of the addiction than you are yourself. You would do anything to get your fix. You are defined by the trying to feed it. The person who you were before, is merely a refuge for you to get by until you can unleash the animal.
I've had friends who were recovering addicts tell me of some of the most horrendous things that they did. Things that I couldn't believe that this was the same person. But addiction becomes a person and defines their actions.
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